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TodayβMarch 8βis International Womenβs Day around the world. Hurrah!! Itβs also Womenβs History Month, which is all about shining a light on the strides women have taken for equalityβthe trailblazers and the courageous voices, the struggles and the triumphs women have encountered throughout history, all in an effort to be heard and recognized as equals.
Before I go any further, let me make one thing clearβyes, I know. Not everyoneβs a feminist or an activist. Not everyone reading this might personally feel like theyβve been affected by gender differences or inequality. Why does this all matter for you? Iβve honestly asked myself this question before on more than one occasion.


Growing up, Iβve been fortunate in that I havenβt had that many horrifying experiences related to my gender. Iβve dealt with the occasional cat-call, Iβve had older men say inappropriate things in a weak attempt at eliciting a response, Iβve heard all sorts of gender-fueled insults, Iβve struggled with my body image because of what society has told me I needed to look like, Iβve had someone run up to me late at night and try to steal my purse in the middle of a public street because I was walking alone. Hell, at the age of 8 years old I even had crazy neighbors accuse my family of bad parenting (even got the cops involved) all because of my gender. And if I have one more guy try to hit on me by first asking whether or not I have a boyfriend or a husband, as if I was someoneβs property and therefore incapable of denying advances on my own accord, Iβll honestly lose it. To this day, Iβm 100% positive that all of this happened because I am, after all, a girl. Was it annoying? Of course. But was it life-altering? No. None of it was that bad. Individually, everything Iβve dealt with was pretty insignificant.
But I want you to think about everything I just told you again. The logic that I just used to explain to you my experiences as a woman is riddled with all kinds of apologist bullshit that we as women have become conditioned to use, because the cards have not been stacked in our favor. As women, we grow up learning that itβs a manβs way or the highway. Because being a woman is hard, and we all know it is. But if we were to tell anyone how hard it actually was, weβd be met with deaf ears. Weβve learned to brush the little things we deal with every single day under the rug. Itβs just another cat-call, we think. Itβs not that bad.
But it is, and we shouldnβt have to stand for it.
Iβll admit once againβbecause, by comparison, the actuality of this isnβt lost on meβIβve been lucky enough as a woman to have a pretty fortunate life. But Iβm starting to learn, too, that I shouldnβt have to stand for the βinsignificant thingsβ Iβve spent my life brushing under the rug. Iβm realizing that I have a voice, and I am lucky enough to be able to use it. And that there are so many little actions we can all take to help make these βinsignificant thingsβ a thing of the past. Iβm beginning to realize that yes, todayβs significance matters to me, because I am a woman, and I have a low tolerance for bullshit, and I am worth every single ounce of value and significance as the man standing next to me. If youβre reading this as a woman, today is about celebrating you and educating the world on how to carve out a better place for you in it. If youβre reading this as a man, today is about celebrating those of you who are strong enough to be part of this movement, and those of you who are willing to listen and support.
Support doesnβt always have to manifest in big, bold ways. It doesnβt have to always take the form of large orchestrated marches, or protests, or signs. Iβm learning that the small, everyday things matter just as much, and that if I want to see change, I need to start by being a part of it in my day-to-day life. You can, too.




5 Simple Ways to Help Empower the Women in Our Lives:
1. Realize thereβs room for you, and you, and her, too.
Ladies
Back in the day, when a woman was in the workplace (especially in a position of power), it was kinda like being a unicorn. You were the exception, not the rule, and if another woman was hired at the company, your guard would immediately go up. Is she going to replace me? Are people going to like her better because sheβs younger/prettier/says βyesβ more often? There isnβt room for the both of us!
Flash-forward to today. The beauty of progress is that today, women are no longer the unicorns in the office. In fact, almost half (47%) of US jobs today are held by women. Thereβs room for her, and her, and me, and you. When we change from a βme vs. herβ to a βletβs grow and accomplish things togetherβ mentality, then weβll really start to be able to do just that.
Gents
Historically, women have had to fight twice as hard to be recognized for the same skills or credentials as men. Women have always been in competition with themselves and with each other to make sure they come out on top, and part of this stems from men treating women like unicorns. Including male and female peers in conversation equallyβwhether itβs about salaries or promotion opportunities or even just about asking what everyone might think about an opinion or idea thatβs on your mindβcan absolutely help perpetuate a new norm that allows all women to feel like there are enough seats for everyone at the table.
2. Embrace collaboration over competition.
Ladies
Going off of #1, embrace collaboration with other like-minded women instead of competition. This isnβt Mean Girls. But I get it. As women, itβs become almost second nature to us to fight over men, attention, jobs, you name it. Itβs become normal to fall into a comparison game. βShe has perfect skin and teeth and her laugh is cuter so itβs no wonder people like her better.β That mentality is so toxic, but Iβve been guilty of the comparison complex for almost my entire life. Iβve shamed myself countless times for not being as tall, as skinny, or as well-spoken.
But when we rewire our brains to lift other women up, the funny thing is, we begin to lift ourselves up, too. The community of women in this world is fierce, beautiful, and talented, and Iβm learning that it doesnβt have to be me (or you) against the world. We can, and should, have each otherβs backs.
Gents
Honestly, I think men have a huge influence on the competitive nature of women. Women feel so much pressure to come out on top in menβs eyes, whether itβs for the purposes of getting a promotion, or finding a potential partner, or even just being seen as βthe bestβ or (my personal favorite) βdifferent from most girls.β Recognizing that preconceived notions like this are actually insults in disguise might help us stop feeling like we always need to be on the offensive.
3. Stop perpetuating sexist word choices and sexist assumptions.
All
I would be lying if I told you that, at my first job out of college, the person who leaned over on my desk, smiled and said βat least youβre prettyβ when I asked aβwhat I assumed at the time was not dumbβquestion, was a man. No, it was a woman, telling me that βat least I was pretty,β so I could get away with asking silly questions.
Iβd also be lying if I told you that, at every single job Iβve held to date, I didnβt have people making assumptions about βromantic intentionsβ when I befriended coworkers of the opposite sex. Do you think these same people were making the same ill-informed comments about the guys I happened to be friends with? Nope. Just me.
I know none of these people meant anything maliciously, but do you see how little things like this help perpetuate this myth of inequality? For better or worse, the repetition of words makes things true. Itβs fine time that everyone stop spreading this she-blaming, she-doubting mentality, even if itβs only through a βharmlessβ comment or assumption.
4. Read more books and written by women.
All
Of course, one of the best things anyone can do to understand is to get educated. Reading books (and listening to podcasts) by women is one of the easiest ways to understand, and through understanding, to help make a difference.
Currently, Iβm reading (and recommend) Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg and Extreme You by Sarah Robb OβHagan. Iβve also loved Sophia Amorusoβs Girl Boss. Most recently, Iβve also heard great things from Krystal Bick of This Time Tomorrow about Men Explaining Things to Me, which is, as of this morning, in my Amazon check-out cart.
5. ListenβI mean really listenβto what she has to say.
All
No matter who you are, the most powerful thing you can do is listen. I mean, really listen. And, if you want to take it one step further, you can take what youβve learned, use your voice, and help to spread the word to even more people who are willing to listen.
The walls that divide us are built by deaf ears and cold shoulders. I absolutely believe that if we just open up to each other more and really try to understand what other people are going through, weβd spend more time building bridges, and less time building walls.


What I Wore:
Womxn Tee | Make Collectives β’ Olive Culottes | Shop Anneise β’ Sunnies | ZeroUV β’ Booties | Aldo
Shop the Look:
Read This Next:
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Travel Shaming in the Workplace (and Beyond): What It Is and Why It Needs to Stop
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Empowering Travel and Creativity Conferences All Women Should Attend
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6 Responses
LOVE this post! Especially your section on collaboration over competition. Something I always try to pursue with blogging myself! There’s room for all of us in this space.
xo Rachel | http://www.thesassroom.com
Amen to that! Love your mindset! This space need more people like you!
This is awesome! Love the topic and LOVE your outfit, girl! Rock it!
Thank you so much Candice!
Super candid and something everyone should read. Love this post! #girlpower
Ilse
http://www.livelearnluxeit.com
Thank you so much!!